How To Pray

Matthew 6:5-8; I Thessalonians 5:16-18

A man prayed in this way: “So far today, Lord, I've done all right. I haven’t lied, I haven't lost my temper, haven’t overeaten, I haven’t taken your name in vain, I haven't been greedy or selfish. I'm really grateful for how you have helped me so far today. But in a few minutes, Lord, I'm going to get out of bed, and from then on I'm going to need some help. Amen.”

We all need help when it comes to prayer. As a pastor I am repeatedly reminded how difficult prayer is for people, even people who have been Christians and church members for years. Public prayer seems to be especially difficult for some people. In every one of the churches I have served, I have had deacons, the spiritual leaders of the congregation, unable to pray in public - in worship or in a meeting. When we disccused it, they confess that they feel uncomfortable voicing prayer out loud. They do not know what to say. This has led sometimes to impromptu instruction on prayer. Basically I tell them that public prayer is just talking. Anyone can do it. If you can talk to a friend or a family member, then you can pray. Prayer is just speaking with our Heavenly Father. No special ecclesiastical language is needed, no thees or thous, no required content. My advice is to just say what comes from the heart. More or less, sometimes preferably less.

I heard a pastor share at a minister’s gathering about a man in his congregation, who during the prayer request time would ask for prayer for his sins. He would confess his sins publicly and explicitly – every Sunday, Sunday after Sunday. He would go on and on, listing and describing his sins in detail, and naming other people’s sins in the congregation. This pastor had to sit down with this guy and say, “Hey. That is too much information.”  This man needed to learn how to pray appropriately in public.

 Most people could use some help when it comes to prayer. Even the twelve apostles needed help. The Gospel of Luke tells us that one day the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, teach us to pray.” Jesus’ reply was the prayer that we call the Lord’s Prayer. I am so glad they asked! Jesus followed that model prayer with some other instructions on prayer. Our gospel lesson for today is such a passage. Today I am going to teach on prayer. This is a Summer Sermon Suggestion from someone in our congregation. How do we pray?

1. First, Jesus made it clear that we should honestly. He says that we should not pray hypocritically. “And when you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrites.” The word hypocrite literally means an actor. Do not pray as if you are performing. Jesus focuses on the idea of performing for others in our passage. “And when you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward.” Maybe that is why people have a hard time praying in public. People are warching, and it feels like an act.

I have known pastors who pray in worship as if they were performing on a stage. You know what I am talking about – that ministerial tone of voice. The preacherly drone. When I took a year of sabbatical leave in 2010, the year before coming here again as pastor, I was not preaching regularly so I attended other churches for worship for that year. It was tough finding a preacher to listen to that did not have that put-on ministerial affectation, that holy voice, that homiletical whine. Preaching and especially praying seemed like an act for a lot of clergy. I really came to appreciate how difficult it is to find a church you want to attend regularly. I did find one – a Presbyterian church – pastored by a man who was also a part-time Greek instructor at the local Episcopal seminary. But it took a while. And that was the Pittsburgh area with lots of churches.

Jesus said not to pray like the hypocrites. We can pray as if we were putting on an act for people. So he tells us to pray in secret behind closed doors. Pray in private. But we can also pray in private like a hypocrite. We can pray as if we are putting on an act for God. I think that is why some people have a hard time praying privately. It is not because they don’t know what to say. It is because they know exactly what to say and they do not want to say it. It feels dangerous to open their hearts to God honestly. Prayer involves honest and thorough self-inquiry.  We have to look at ourselves honestly and deeply to know what we are really thinking and feeling. And then to say it out loud to God is to bring it out into the light. Prayer is not for sissies. It is certainly not for hypocrites. Prayer means seeing ourselves as we really are and admitting that verbally to God. A lot of people are not willing to do that. It is too unsettling. It destroys the ego. Our life is revealed to be a house of cards, which comes falling down when the Spirit of God blows through your life. But that is what true prayer is. It is honest.

2. Second, Jesus says that prayer is original and brief. Jesus says in our Gospel lesson that prayer should not be vain repetition. “And when you pray, do not use vain repetitions as the heathen do. For they think that they will be heard for their many words.” Jesus is saying a couple of things here. First, that prayer is not a ritual. I remember when I was growing up my Catholic friend would go to confession and then had to say so many Our Fathers and Hail Marys as repentance. He did it, but even as a thirteen year old could see through it. That is prayer as ritual. Even saying the Lord’s Prayer can also be an empty ritual, if it is said mindlessly. Prayer is not saying something over and over like a mantra that puts your brain into a trance. The apostle Paul tells us in our Epistle Lesson to pray without ceasing, but this is not what he means.

There is a well-known spiritual classic entitled The Way of a Pilgrim. It was written in the 19^th century in Russian and later translated into English. It is the story told in the first person of an orthodox Russian pilgrim walking across Russia while constantly reciting the Jesus Prayer: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner.” It is repeated over and over again until the brain does it automatically all the time. This practice seemed to work for this guy, bringing him into an attitude of ceaseless inner prayer and communion with God. I hesitate to judge this practice. But I honestly don’t think that is what Paul meant when he told the Thessalonians to pray without ceasing. It sure seems to be awful close to what Jesus was referring to when he says, “And when you pray, do not use vain repetitions as the heathen do.” Jesus was thinking of the practice of his Jewish brethren, the Pharisees, who even at that point in history were developing the practice of repeating standardized prayers over and over again.

Rather than pray something written by someone else and repeated by us over and over again endlessly, Jesus is saying that prayer should be original, our own words spoken from the heart, and brief. I have heard ministers mention how much time they spend in prayer. It sounds a lot like spiritual bragging to me. I know that some of the great Christian leaders used to spend hours in prayer. Luther said: "If I fail to spend two hours in prayer each morning, the devil gets the victory through the day. I have so much business I cannot get on without spending three hours daily in prayer." John Wesley used to say that he thought very little of a man who did not pray four hours every day. I have a confession to make. John Wesley would not think very highly of me. I do not pray for hours, if by prayer you mean talking to God. I do not use a lot of words in prayer. I feel like God already knows it all. That is what Jesus said in our Gospel lesson: “And when you pray, do not use vain repetitions as the heathen do. For they think that they will be heard for their many words. Therefore do not be like them. For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him.”

I figure God already knows everything I am saying before I say it. Psalm 139 says, “Lord, you have examined me and know all about me. You know when I sit down and when I get up. You know my thoughts before I think them.” To me prayer is not spending hours voicing words out loud or in my head. In fact for me prayer does not have a lot to do with words at all. I do speak words to God in prayer. Words are especially helpful when it comes to confession. It is important to name our sins. It is also important in thanksgiving, to name the things we are thankful for. But for me prayer goes far beyond words.

3. The apostle Paul says in our Epistle Lesson to Pray without ceasing. This is actually the sermon suggestion that prompted me to preach this sermon – what it means to pray without ceasing. I do not think it means maintaining a constant stream of words flowing through our minds, not even such a good prayer as the Jesus Prayer. In fact I think that ceaseless prayer is wordless. Words can actually get in the way of our communion with God. At least that is my experience. Words can connect us with God in a powerful way when they are bold honest words spoken from the heart. There is clearly a place for words in our relationship with God. But there is time when words fail us, when words cannot communicate the deepest yearnings of our soul. The apostle Paul says in Romans 8, “the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.”

 For me the profoundest form of prayer, and the only type of prayer that I have ever experienced that comes anywhere close to “prayer without ceasing” is an inner wordless attitude of being in the presence of God. When I am truly experiencing the presence of God I am speechless. There is nothing to say and no need to say it. We all know people who chatter away constantly and don’t seem to know how to be present and quiet. When I am in God’s presence I don’t want to talk. Why would I want to talk? What do I have to say that is better than the presence of God. There is an old saying, “Do not speak unless you can improve on silence.” The 13th century Persian poet Rumi says “Silence is the language of God, all else is poor translation.” I have quoted Saint Francis before when he says, ‘Preach the gospel at all times. If necessary use words.” I rephrase his saying to apply to prayer. “Pray without ceasing. If necessary, use words.”

I think this is what the apostle Paul means when he instructs us to pray without ceasing. I think it means to abide at all times in the presence of God. God is present here now. God is always present here now. The only time and place God is present is here now. God is not in the past or in the future. God is in what theologian Paul Tillich calls the Eternal Now. God is always present. And there is a part of us – what the Bible calls the human spirit in which dwells God’s Holy Spirit – which is always in the presence of God. All we have to do is pay attention to that part of us. Stop paying attention to the words and thoughts racing through our heads, stop paying attention to the emotions surging through our bodies, and pay attention to Spirit who dwells within us. Our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit. God lives in us. If we abide in that Presence, then we are praying without ceasing.

4. Paul says a couple of other things in our passage. He says in verse 16 “Rejoice always.” I think this means that if we live in the ceaseless Presence of God, then joy is our natural state. It flows into and through our lives. Paul talks elsewhere about the fruit of the Spirit that are characteristics of the Spirit-filled life. The first three he mentions are love, joy, and peace. God is love, the Bible says. When we are in the presence of God there is love. We experience God’s love for us and our love for God, which flows over into God’s love for others in and through us. The same is true of joy. You could also say that God is joy. I wish that was talked about as much as love. When people are looking for happiness in life, what they really want is joy. Joy is a spiritual quality that is only found in God. Happiness is the earthly imitation of joy. Happiness comes and goes depending on whatever is happening at the moment. Happiness is dependent upon the circumstances in our lives at the moment. Joy is unconditional. It does not depend on external circumstances. It depends solely on the presence of God. God is always present. Which means that we have access to this joy at all times. That is what it means to rejoice always.

5. Paul also says, “in everything give thanks.” A 5-year-old boy wanted to say grace before Thanksgiving dinner. The family members bowed their heads in expectation. He began his prayer, thanking God for all his friends, naming them one by one. Then he thanked God for Mommy, Daddy, brother, sister, Grandma, Grandpa, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank God for the food. He gave thanks for the turkey, the dressing, the salad, the cranberry sauce, the pies, the rolls, even the butter. Then he paused, and everyone waited--and waited. After a long silence, he looked up at his mother and asked, "If I thank God for the broccoli, won't he know that I'm lying?"

We might not be able to feel grateful for some things, for the bad things that happen. When Paul instructs us to give thanks in all things, or give thanks in all circumstances, he is telling us to live by faith. Paul is telling us to believe that all things work together for good even if we don’t see it yet or feel it yet. That if we saw things from God’s perspective, we could truly and honestly thank God for all things.

A lot of people suffer emotionally in life because they are constantly fighting against the way things are. They are ungrateful, resentful and angry. Nothing is ever right in their lives. Their relationships aren’t right. Their health isn’t right. Things in their family aren’t right. Their finances aren’t right. The political situation in the country or the world isn’t right. Nothing is ever right. They are never happy because things are never the way they think things ought to be. Paul is telling us that this is a recipe for misery. He is telling us to accept things as they are, and be grateful. Sure they aren’t perfect. They might not even be good. But accept them anyway. And give thanks. And when we do this, we open ourselves up to God. And joy comes in. The peace that surpasses all human understanding comes in. And we actually start to see that things are not so bad, and there is a lot of good, and somehow it is believable that all things could work together for good. We can see this when we thank God. This is how to pray: “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”