The Secret of Happiness

Delivered July 8, 2012

Philippians 4:4-9

Rabbi Noah Weinberg tells a true story about a young man whom he met in Jerusalem. This is how the rabbi tells it: “A young man with an unusually happy disposition once came to meet me in Jerusalem. I asked him, "What's your secret?" He told me, "When I was 11 years old, God gave me a gift of happiness. I was riding my bicycle when a strong gust of wind blew me onto the ground into the path of an oncoming truck. The truck ran over me and cut off my leg. As I lay there bleeding, I realized that I might have to live the rest of my life without a leg. How depressing! But then I realized that being depressed won't get my leg back. So I decided right then and there not to waste my life despairing. When my parents arrived at the hospital they were shocked and grieving. I told them, 'I've already adapted. Now you also have to get used to this.' Ever since then, I see my friends getting upset over little things: their bus came late, they got a bad grade on a test, somebody insulted them. But I just enjoy life."

Most of us are not as blessed as this young man. I use the word blessed even though the boy who lost his leg, because in return for his leg he received the gift of happiness. Personally I would rather have both my leg and happiness. Some of us have been studying the Book of Ecclesiastes this summer on Wednesday evenings. The author of this book – traditionally considered to be Solomon – had everything the world could offer, but he doesn’t seem very happy. But sometimes in the book he gets a glimpse of the secret of happiness. Every so often in he says something like this in 3:12-13. “I know that nothing is better for them than to rejoice, and to do good in their lives, and also that every man should eat and drink and enjoy the good of all his labor—it is the gift of God.” Solomon goes through the depths of existential despair in this book while seeking the meaning of life, but in the end I think he found at least a measure of happiness.

In our Epistle Reading the apostle Paul tells us that he has found the secret of happiness. He finds it in three qualities of life, and then he gives us practical advice as to how to have these qualities. As always, the context of the text is helpful in understanding the passage. In the verses immediately before our passage Paul is addressing a couple of women in the church in Philippi - Euodia and Syntyche – who are fighting. They are making each other’s lives miserable as well as everyone around them. It is in this context that Paul presents his secret of happiness.

I. There are three qualities of happiness. First, is joy. He says in verse 4 “Rejoice in the Lord always.” This is important enough that he repeats it in the same verse: “Again I will say, rejoice.”  The nurturing of joy is the secret of happiness. Joy is a quality of life that is not dependent on our circumstances – just like the boy who lost his leg in an accident and immediately discovered joy.  It was a “eureka” moment for him - the realization that joy is an attitude toward what happens to you in life and not a consequence of what happens to you. Some people can have everything that one would ever want and still be miserable. We read repeatedly in the press about highly successful, famous and wealthy people who take their own lives in despair. Or they drug or drink themselves to death. Obviously happiness is not found in what the world has to offer. It is found in our attitude toward what happens. Therefore Paul tells us to rejoice always.

Joy is one of the fruits of the Spirit. In his Letter to the Galatians Paul lists nine fruits of the Spirit; joy is second on his list, second only to love. A fruit of the Spirit is not something we work to achieve; it is something that God produces in our lives. As Solomon says, “It is the gift of God.” Just as the vine produces fruit, so does the Spirit produce the fruit of joy in our lives if we abide in him. That is why Paul says, “Rejoice in the Lord always.” Joy is “in the Lord” and this joy can be “always” – in all circumstances. We possess everything we need to be happy right now. Nothing has to change in our lives. We don’t have to wish “Oh, if only I had this” or “If only this were different” or “If only that would happen.” Nothing has to change, except our attitude toward life. ^“Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!”

The second quality that Paul mentions is gentleness. He says in verse 5 “Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand.” Once again, he has the context of the Philippian church in mind.  There is arguing and fighting going on in that church. There were two women in particular that appear to be slugging it out. If you have been part of church life for very long you know things like this happen on occasion. One of the best courses I ever took in seminary was an elective on church conflict. Much later I received training in Philadelphia as a marriage and family mediator. The training was in divorce mediation, but I never used it to facilitate divorce; I used it to help couples stay married and families deal with conflict without splitting. An important ingredient in mediation is to lower the temperature in the room. I am not talking about air conditioning; I am talking about emotional temperature. I am talking about lowering the volume of speech and lowering the intensity of the feelings in the room. It is true in churches and it is true in all our relationships. Paul calls it gentleness.

I like the way he puts it: “Let your gentleness be known to all.” Once again he assumes we have it in us, and it is just a matter of letting it be known – letting it be manifest in our lives. Once again it is not really our gentleness; it is God’s gentleness coming through our lives. That is why he adds the words “The Lord is at hand.” God is present to bring forth this gentleness. Gentleness is another one of those nine fruits of the Spirit listed in Galatians. The Spirit within us is gentle. The Holy Spirit is often called the humble person of the Trinity. In the Scriptures the Holy Spirit always takes a back seat to God the Father or God the Son. He is always pointing to them and never to Himself. He I humble and gentle, but also very powerful in that gentleness. This is the quality that the apostle is encouraging in our lives.

It is like water. What is more gentle and yielding than water? It always seeks the lowest level. It never forces its way. It would rather go around than go through. And yet water is one of the most powerful forces on earth. It carves through solid rock. It shapes mountains and carves great canyons. Such is the strength of gentleness. Paul says in Ephesians: “I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, ² with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love,³ endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” If we practice gentleness, then happiness will become manifest in our lives.

The third quality that Paul mentions is peace. He says in verse 6-7 “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; ⁷ and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Peace is another one of those fruit of the Spirit. All three of these qualities that produce happiness in our lives are the work of God and the gifts of God in our lives. Here Paul tells us to be anxious for nothing. Wow! That is easier said than done, isn’t it? Be anxious for nothing. That is what Jesus taught on the Sermon on the Mount. He said,

²⁵  “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? ²⁶  …  And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?^[a] 28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, ²⁹ yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these…. Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. ³³ But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.³⁴  “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.

II. Jesus and Paul to tell us not to be anxious and then we will be happy. To let our gentleness be known to all, and to rejoice. But how do we do this? That is the subject of the rest of this passage. Paul tells us how in three points.

1. The first is prayer. Paul says in our passage: “⁶ Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; ⁷ and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” As the old hymn says, “O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear, All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.” Prayer is the key to happiness because we know at the deepest level of our being that life is out of our control. Prayer addresses that feeling of insecurity. We have very little control over what happens to us or how people treat us. What kind of control do we have over the economy? Or our health? We have some control, of course. We can reduce some of the risk factors in life, but at the end, anything could happen. Forest fires, hurricanes, earthquakes, tornadoes, the collapse of the European Union, a terrorist attack, and everything can change in a moment. A drunk driver, a misstep when hiking down a mountain, a phone call from a child or grandchild can put our lives into a tailspin. We all know that is the reality of life. Our control over what happens is very limited. Prayer acknowledges that. It acknowledges that there is one who does have control. That one is God. If we give it all to God – really give it to God in petition and thanksgiving and let go of it -  then “the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

2. The second technique of nurturing happiness in our lives is meditation. A lot of people think that meditation is something that Hindu gurus and Buddhist monks do. I am talking about Christian mediation that the apostle Paul practiced encourages us to do. He says in verse 8 “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy — meditate on these things.” Condition your mind with what is good.

You already know how to meditate. You don’t need an instructor or a guru. When you worry you are meditating. Worry is meditating on bad things. Most of us know how to worry pretty well. We will meditate for hours on our problems and anxieties - all during the day and sometimes all during the night. You meditate so well for so long that you go without sleep some nights in order to meditate. If you know how to worry, then you know how to meditate. Now you just need to change the things that you meditate upon. Instead of meditating on fearful things, meditate on all the good things. It can be any good things -  whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy — meditate on these things.”

Instead of meditating on the bad things that might happen, meditate on the good things that do happen. Instead of thinking about your health problems , think about healing. Instead of thinking about what you don’t have, think about what you do have. You get the point. We can meditate on the bad or the good. We have a choice. If we meditate on whatever is bad, then the result will be unhappiness; if we meditate on whatever is good, then happiness will follow – just like your shadow follows you on a sunny day. As the psalm says, “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”

3. The third technique to living the secret of happiness is to imitate those who are happy. Paul says in verse 9, “The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.” We learn by watching others. That is how we learn as children and that is how we learn as adults. We learn how to be happy by imitating those who are happy. Choose some role models of happiness. There is a book entitled “French Women Don’t Get Fat.” I haven’t read the book, but I did read a review of the book. The French are known for using butter and cream, and eating bread and pastry, drinking wine, and regularly enjoying three-course meals. But apparently French women don’t get fat, the book says. If you want to learn the secret of why French women don’t get fat, this book says to watch how they eat and how they live. Apparently It is a matter of moderation in all things. This book says that we learn how to eat right by watching people who eat right. If you want to lose weight watch how thin people eat and live, and do likewise.

Paul is saying that you learn how to be happy by imitating people who are happy. See how they live, how they talk, what they do with their time, and what they don’t do. Paul is telling the Philippians that he knows the secret of happiness. If they want to be happy all they have to do is watch him and imitate him. “The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.” We don’t have the apostle Paul living with us to watch and imitate, but we all know people who are happy, who have peace and joy no matter what happens in life. Watch how they do it. Just like that rabbi at the beginning of this message saw how that young man did it. We learn by observing those who know, and by doing what they do. Prayer, meditation, imitation. Those are the secrets of happiness.